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Betrayed Spouse 101

Ten Simple Yet Elegant Tips for Divorce
By Suzanne Finnamore

1.  Change the locks.

2.  Make him pay for the divorce - and anything else you can.

3.  Keep everything beginning with consonents (children, money, house, cars, furniture, real estate, medical benefits, retirement funds, linens).

4.  Allow him to keep everything beginning with vowels (armoires, umbrellas).

5.  Sequester precious items at a friend's house. Men never remember what they have -- if they did, they would not have ruined their lives by running around with trolls.

6.  Don't fight in front of the children...

7.  ....this includes your Soon-to-be Ex. It only adds gasoline to the fire and they don't care how angry you are, because they exist wholly in their own tiny birdcage of a brain/genital control tower.

8.  Take lots of baths and manicures and pedicures, have your hair expensively cut.

9.  Everything, no matter how ludicrous and squalid it seems at the time of the split, will get better and better until you will wonder why you cared so much in the first place.

10.  When confronted with a question regarding fairness to your Ex, err on the side of lifetime vendetta . That way, you will never feel a fool and you will also have kept everything.

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About the author:

Suzanne Finnamore is a nationally published author, residing in Marin County, CA. Her first two novels are Otherwise Engaged and The Zygote Chronicles . She is currently working on her 3rd novel, concerning divorce. Click HERE for information about her books.

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