Betrayed Spouse 101

Revenge! Page Two

2. Practical Jokes
Normally, these are harmless fun between friends. When they're used as a weapon, it can get out of hand. I found numerous books on revenge in my local bookstore. Some titles for your consideration:
Gaslighting: How to Drive Your Enemies Crazy by Victor Santoro
Revenge Encyclopedia by Unk
Don't Get Mad, Get Even by Jane Inder
Screw Unto Others: Revenge Tactics for All Occasions by George Hayduke
101 Ways To Get Back At Your Ex by Samantha Charles
Poison Pen Letters by Keith Wade

I read some of these books, and got a real laugh out of them. They fed my imagination like you wouldn't believe. But in the end, they were just a good read. You run into some real risks when you send 40 pizzas to someone's house, subscribe to 'Big Jugz' magazine in their name or send incriminating photos to their family. First of all, much of it can be construed as harrassment, and could land you in a lot of trouble. CRIMINAL trouble. If you and your spouse end up divorcing, that could really count against you - particularly if you are fighting over custody of children. But that's not even the biggest reason NOT to do it.

The biggest reason NOT to engage in such juvenile, desperate behaviors is because you'll just be reinforcing every bad stereotype of a clinging, whining, vindictive betrayed spouse. When this is all over (and trust me, someday it will be, one way or the other), how do you want to be remembered? As the psycho who sent strip-o-grams to their work, the nutcase that ordered an inflatable sheep in their name? The weirdo that everyone shook their head and clucked their tongues at? All you're doing is making that Other Woman/Man look like the calmer, more sensible person when you do stuff like this. And I'm not even mentioning the time and money you'd be pouring into this crap.

3. Airing the Dirty Laundry
You're going to call that Other Woman/Man's Boss. Or their Mother. Or their Minister. You're going to make sure the WHOLE WORLD knows their part in all of this. You want them embarrassed. Humiliated as you have been made to feel humiliated. You'll show them!

Here's the sad truth: Most people don't care as much as you about this. It's happening to YOU, not to them. YOUR problem. When you involve them, you make it THEIR problem, and they're far more likely to resent YOU for it. That employer only cares about his work getting done. True, that workplace affair may be interfering, but blowing the lid off of it just makes it worse. Now Mr./Ms. Boss has to figure out how to handle it. What a mess. Courtesy of you. Your Other Woman/Man's mother, father, sister, whatever may be shocked and upset to know what they've done. But shock wears off, and you'll find that in most cases, blood is thicker than water. And you've just turned into the bitter person who is intent on disrupting THEIR family. Isn't that just what you're protesting? Airing that dirty laundry just for revenge always makes you look like a sore loser. And you are not a LOSER.

When all is said and done, living well is the best revenge. Let that Other Woman/Man or your cheater go on about their merry way. Be civil in your interactions, if you must have them at all. You will be remembered as a person of grace and class, and as you rebuild your life it will certainly make them feel powerless where you are concerned when you don't lay down and die over what they did to you. What's more, you can socialize with their coworkers, family members, neighbors and hold your head high. No one will be leering or snickering behind YOUR back.